Hiatus– a break in, an interruption in time, a pause (thanks, Merriam-Webster for this concise definition!).
I know, if you’re a coffee lover like me (or my former self), you may be wondering why, in God’s beautiful world, I would take a hiatus from it. There are so many reasons, but it comes down to four main ones: energy levels, obsession, sleep quality, and anxiety.
Before we dive in, let me start by saying a few things. For one, I am NOT saying that coffee is “bad” for you nor am I encouraging you to ditch coffee. I’m sharing my personal experience with caffeine. In general, coffee is good for you and has many wonderful health benefits but sometimes you gotta weigh the pros and cons.
Caffeinate, work, repeat (with emphasis on caffeinate!)
At first, I was your one-cup-a-day-coffee-drinking-gal. I started my morning by waking up to that glorious aroma called coffee. It was my source of fuel to shake of those early morning yawns while I was reading my devotionals and Bible. With time, that one-cup-a-day-coffee-drinking-gal turned into an all-day-drinking-coffee-gal.
Why? Because, my energy level would seriously dip around 3pm. I would get home from work and find myself with two options: crash or caffeinate to make it through the rest of the afternoon/evening. I often chose the latter, which led to the next main issue… sleep.
Prepare for sleep… it’s going to be a rough night
Anyone else wake up every 1-2 hours at night? Just me? That’s okay (for the most part it’s not like this any longer, thank you Jesus!).
Because I was having that second cup of coffee after work, I often found it challenging to fall asleep at night. Then, once I was *finally* asleep, I would wake up multiple times each night. If you’re the person who sleeps soundly every single night, that’s incredible; however, that wasn’t me. My sleep was often broken and that only led to more codependency on caffeine the following day (naturally).
Gotta have it
This constant cycle of low energy levels and broken sleep led to an obsession (a nicer way of saying addiction *insert shrug here*) with coffee. I hate to say it, but I actually craved coffee. It’s like I needed it more than anything else to make it through the day. At this point, I often drank 3-5 cups of coffee each day (often having espresso thrown into the mix, too). Did you ever experience that? The intense need to have something, more than anything else? It sucks!
Once I was able to identify this obsession with coffee, I realized it was not healthy at all. Not only wasn’t it healthy to have that deep need, but it was also impacting my health (acid issues, sleep, anxiety…).
Coffee for two
Perhaps the biggest issue with my coffee intake was its impact on my anxiety. Every time I had a cup of coffee, it was fueling me and my anxiety. Of course, many factors influence anxiety such as sleep, hydration, activity, caffeine intake, and overall diet. However, my coffee intake was impacting all of these factors! So, by drinking coffee daily (multiple times each day) I felt as if I was setting myself up for failure. I wanted myself to succeed, have peace, and be helpful to those around me. This awareness and desire to change led to my hiatus.
Change even after the New Year
Being out of school, I thought it would be the perfect time to ditch coffee (cold turkey because that obviously was the best decision ever, sarcasm here). So, the first week of summer break, I was without coffee. Let me just say, I’m grateful I waited to do this over the summer because it was rough.
First and foremost, I would NOT recommend quitting coffee cold turkey if you drink a lot of coffee each day like I did. It only leads to crappy times like headaches, moodiness, and heightened anxiety (at least for me). On more than one occasion, I totally considered jumping back on the coffee wagon, but I didn’t. I stayed the course because of a new routine and a constant reminder of my “why”.
Know your “why”
Staying the course would have been difficult had I not remembered my “why” and, more importantly, started a new routine.
What was my “why”? I was tired of feeling sick and tired. I felt like I deserved (like everyone else) to live a life of fullness. I wanted a change. So, I started with one simple (or, maybe not so simple) change, coffee. When I felt the need to drink coffee, I would remind myself of the sleepless nights, the lack of energy, and all the other symptoms I had as a result of my coffee obsession.
What was my new routine? Well, I could easily write a separate post on this (and perhaps I will!), but I’ll keep it simple (for now).
Each morning, I woke up and drank a glass of water with freshly squeezed lemon juice from one lemon. I drank this while my morning cup of herbal tea was brewing (my substitute for coffee). Once my tea was made, I would read my devotionals, journal, make my daily gratitude list, and do a breathing exercise. Then, I would move on with my day. I think that simple substitution of herbal tea and lemon water helped me to stay the course (and of course, dependence on God).
Current update
After a few short weeks of my coffee hiatus, I noticed that I actually slept through the night (thank you Jesus!). My energy levels were/are relatively sustained throughout the entire day. My anxiety was/is still present, but less than it had been in previous weeks/months (more on this in a future post). I feel more alive.
Just this morning, I had my first cup of coffee since the start of summer vacation. I’ll admit, at first, I was intoxicated at the smell of the coffee brewing and the first sip of coffee had me all giddy inside. Then, I had a momentary fear that I would fall back into the coffee obsession. Rather than let that fear consume me, I just let it pass and decided to see how I felt after this first encounter with my former lover, coffee. Giving myself that grace was exactly what I needed. Could I easily go back into my daily coffee obsession? Sure! However, I’m simply choosing to resume my hiatus because, as I mentioned at the top, you gotta weigh the pros and cons. For me, the cons of daily coffee consumption far outweigh the pros.
So, goodbye, coffee. Will we meet again? Perhaps. If we do meet again, will we resume our passionate affair? Maybe, but probably not. It’s been a great ride, but I’ve got to move on now.
